The Shadow of my Childhood

My father- he was a redwood.

He was closer to the sun.

Strong and tall, He towered over

my childhood— shaped me.

Showed me which way to point my leaves

and how to soak in the sun.

He was a redwood.

He even hiked among them,

In my minds-eye

I can still see him—

There in the mountains

With the Redwoods.

I would chase him

and he would pretend I was faster

And we would laugh

and I would find the sun,

Because—He was a redwood and

He was closer to the sun.

A ray of life

in a dark world

Always there—

dependable and strong.

A good man.

A good father.

He towered over my childhood

An unchanging redwood

Always there-

and I knew with

A child’s certainty that he

always would be.

But then he wasn’t.

And the sun got dimmer.

Because things changed.

He got sick—

and then sicker,

The doctors grew more serious.

My mother grew more grim

My father grew smaller.

He was still a

ray of life

But now—

he was farther from the sun.

He wasn’t so tall

in his wheelchair.

He smiled less—

I smiled less.

His silences

Stretched longer

And the sun

Got farther away.

But he was still a redwood,

still strong.

And then—

The strength failed.

I will never forget that

Summer day.

The last carefree

Summer day of my life.

It was August and the

Florida heat was oppressive.

It was bright and full

Of noise and then-

Then, there was

only silence.

Because no one could hear

The snow globe of my life

Exploding around me— the

Glass shards shattering,

Into jagged pieces, the

happy scene inside—demolished.

Because—His death

was the death of my childhood.

My innocence

My security-

My childish faith

That everything would be ok

Destroyed. And the redwood

Was gone.

He towered over my childhood.

Taught me things

that only now,

I am beginning to understand.

I died

When he died,

But I also lived—

I also learned.

We don’t know how much

time we have.

I am a redwood.

and-

I-

am closer to the sun.