The shadow I lost is me

The thing in my mind which kills me from inside and remaking me from ashes , an 'blurry shadow'.

My peace was rationed, my joy was taken,

I was tired of being killed by that shadow, I was tired of being reconstructed again and again and again.

I yelled at the shadow "run away", but I can't let it go. My heart said to hold on. But, my knowledge said the opposite.

And at last knowledge won, to let it go, and say a"good bye",

It's gone ,yeah it's realy gone. The peace that gives me ,I can only feel it. And the words are worthless to express it.

Now a days I can't find myself , the only thing that is holding me is my knowledge. I thought knowledge will give me what I want and it did. But the things that I need is non even considerd as needed.

The only thing I have now is warmth of peace, knowledge to acompany me. And the endless longing to get some lively feeling.

The need for simpathy wokeup the broken heart and the heart said to me, "you lost you", slowly closing it's eyes.

Now I realise that, "the shadow I lost is me".