The Sabotage of the Malicious is Always Surreptitious
Doing away with my Illusions
I've lived a lifetime of you
Selling me down the river
And each time, surviving
Enslavers, the inclinations of
Rapists and murderers,
I returned to you, bearing gifts!
Always I brought you
Warm, gaily-coloured new shawls
You always clutched that threadbare
Victim-tainted one,
You wore from birth.
Now, with your evasive eyes
Full of excuses
The projection of your lies
Laying on my shoulders like
Bile-smelling vomit
I have got at last, mortally tired.
Now, I have run out of excuses
You, taking with one hand
And slapping me with the other
Always left me aghast
But you drummed into me
Patience is a virtue
Now I feel it in my bones,
In the face of a bottomless vice
Patience is a path to suicide
Was I born to be your bodyguard
And your healer
Your breadwinner
And your cleaner
Carrier of your sins
All in one?
Never again will I return,
With cuts, bruised and bleeding
To massage your back, neck, feet
And while dripping with exhaustion and hear only
The whine of your complaints
While your pride and your smiles
Shine forth for your lie-filled only son
At last I'm turning
A new page
On which of you
There will be no
More a motherly trace
I knew that was always an illusion
Whatever you may say
Know, that I know
You are the disgrace
You betrayed your loving daughter
For the mouldy crusts
At the Star and Crescent table
Farewell mother, farewell
Crueller than any stranger,
You talked of
Of stranger danger
But strangers have been my salvation
They even pointed me to go
In the opposite direction far away from you
I said they were wrong
But I was mistaken; and they were right
Now I see clearly,
There must be limits to loyalty
When home is where you are most hurt
It's suicidal to return
That bridge must be burnt
Farewell mother, farewell
If you want to blame anyone,
Heartless woman,
Blame yourself.
About the Creator
Aza Y Alam
Exploring how the political is personal and making sense of life, as an artistic teacher, a justice-seeking researcher, and a writer, one story, essay and poem at a time... Join me on the journey!
Comments (2)
I really appreciate your response Micheal. Thank you!
I will have to read this a few times, it’s simple on the surface, but very powerful and very personal.