The Roles I Played, The Life I Lost

By Rahat Naz

I walk on roads where life has led me, Wearing every face, living every part A mother, a sister, a friend at times, And sometimes, just a stranger’s heart. I forgot myself in stories not mine, Held others’ pain close like my own, Behind smiling eyes, there hides a soul A weary traveler, silent and alone. I lived their lives, bore their grief, Carried their hopes, stood through the strife. But when it came to living my own, It felt like a dream denied in life. One thing met me at every turn Sometimes soft, sometimes like a storm. A sudden blow, and I would fall, My thoughts and heart left numb, deformed. The will to rise again would fade, And I’d forget why I ever prayed. Yet even then, I learned this truth: If you must hate, keep your worth. And if you love—be pure, be free, Give without hope of return or fee. But what came dressed in many skins, At every bend, in countless things Was not affection, nor true care, But apathy… selfishness laid bare. Sometimes it hid behind warm laughs, Sometimes beneath a whispered prayer, Sometimes in those who called me "mine" Yet hurt me more than strangers dared. Now I hold no bitter cries, Just a tired truth behind these eyes: Yes, I’ve lived life, played every role But now I wish… To live a life that’s truly my own.