The Problem With Family

Family.

Where isolation is learned.

Self-expression apparently damages their "image"

You have to live to be like them,

Portraying some distorted image of "perfection" that is simply not obtainable.

In order to escape their constant contempt, you have to act like them.

You have to be cruel, rude, judgmental, hateful, intolerant.

But you don't wanna live like that,

You REFUSE to live like that,

So you pull away

And refuse to associate with them.

If you don't pull away,

You will be psychologically enslaved,

Your whole life critiqued and controlled.

Family.

Where you are not welcome.

You are used.

You are welcome when you serve their purposes and are useful to them.

They will be happy to talk to you when it's about fixing their house.

They'll be glad to tell you what to do,

And to yell at you when your work

Doesn't match their ambiguous "standards."

But do they care about anything outside of that?

Attempted conversations about school are met with "fold your laundry."

Okay, cool.

So you are a tool.

Family.

Where judgment destroys your life.

Your interests are stupid.

Your friends are stupid.

Your music is stupid.

You are stupid.

And crazy. And psychotic.

Oh, and you gonna be a terrorist.

You're gonna fail at life.

And you belong in a "looney bin."

Your entire existence is stupid.

You are worthless from birth to eternity.

Family.

Where you learn the definition of prison.

Pain is a reinforced cell in a max security prison.

You find yourself at the bottom of hell.

You believe the lies you're told.

You are broken, hurt, and damaged.

But tell them that.

You're gonna face more of the hate you're trying so hard to free yourself of.

Now you just pity yourself.

Your worthless self that "don't understand real life."

Sometimes suicide seems like a reasonable escape,

An eternal solution to a relentless problem.

Even though it's NOT,

And it would've been best if you were never born,

Cause it hurts being in chains of hate and judgment.

Family.

Where you learn to be torn down.

No one ever says anything good to you.

Ya know what's funny tho?

One day they come up out the blue

And they say "that's not what I meant."

And "You can't see that we care."

Oh, really?

What other translation does

"I'm stuck in a house with kids that know nothing" have?

What other translation does

"You're probably gonna be a terrorist and crash your plane" have?

How does that demonstrate love and compassion, or even decency?

Nah, those are clean cut words of hate and resentment.

Family.

Where you stay confused about your life.

You wonder where these people got these ideas.

Am I really psychotic for being abused?

Could I really control what happened in the past?

Should I really be "thrown in a looney bin" for once being a self-harmer?

Am I good enough?

Ya know, this is what kills me.

This is my source of stress and hurt.

My heart has been damaged for years now,

And it ain't gon recover 'til it's protected and safe.

So basically 'til I escape family.