The Other Daughter

I can´t imagine the times I tried to not shed a tear,

where I held in my pain and isolated my mind from the world

Where I kept myself in the darkness and refused to appear in light,

where I faked a smile and turned the other cheek when the words burned through my heart and cut through my skin like knives.

They couldn´t imagine my pain or hear my inner thoughts

They couldn´t here the devil inside of me

Years of broken promises and people walking out of my life I still look forward to the next

Years of feeling useless and unwanted I still seem to feel that way

Do you ever have those thoughts that you try to fight?

Where that same voice stays in your ear and tells you to off yourself

Saying that you will be loved in a better place

I lived with that voice since I knew I was capable of destroying my future

Sometimes I wish I had the confidence to feel beautiful

I wish I was beautiful

I wish I could have chose my family but I might not be me if I wasn´t with the ones I have

You wouldn´t understand how my heart burned when I finally realized my father left me

I didn´t know how stupid I was sticking up for the bastard that doesn´t send a birthday card

I was use to it

Use to being left

Use to being unloved

Use to being treated like crap

Use to having a stepfather that unconditionally love his daughter

It´s not jealousy, it´s feeling alone

Not being able to love your siblings because your not capable of loving yourself

When you look in the mirror and see a body but no soul

They say I´m a gift from god

Though I look at it as the devils daughter

Wherever I go people hate me

Wherever I stand I cause wrath

¨Your not special¨ is what I convince myself everyday

It´s what I force myself to believe

Years of darkness it´s time for me to appear in the light

It´s time for me to love myself instead of looking for it

It´s time to be me and stop changing for others liking

It´s time to be free