The Ode to Wishing I Could Absorb into my Bed

In the morning I turn up the music so it is louder than my thoughts.

I’ve really hated my thoughts lately.

It seems like we aren’t even on the same team anymore.

I curl up in the warmth of my comforter, trying to become part of the bed.

Trying to

S

I

N

K

into the mattress.

Where no one needs to hear from me.

After ten minutes of unsuccessful absorption,

I open my eyes and listen to “Tangerine” by Glass Animals as the ceiling fan spins incessantly.

It reminds me that although nothing is permanent, everything is circular.

Mostly constant.

Routine.

My leopard print jumpsuit hangs over my closet door, reminding me of the looming hour and the deadline of getting out of bed.

I peel out of the covers and peel back on a smile and I walk over to it like someone who has no thoughts.

Another Tuesday.