The nightmare

The Nightmare

That made me live my dream

Dad was reckless, not driving, more like careening.

Me, terrified, motionless, petrified. Seized in a state, as if I’d been calcified.

His sole got heavy. The gas petal dropped, way down as low as my heart that stopped.

As the wheel turned I braced myself for the inevitable as the edge of the bridge became more and more visible.

VROOM, vroom, swiftly we flew off, straight for the water. When the darkness came I offered God a barter.

“Please save us,” I said, “I’ll be good instead.” Then when I opened my eyes I saw mom in a hospital bed.

The transaction had fine print, I had signed in a panic. My dad’s drunken crash was traded in to getting my mom sick.

Terminal terminal, that’s all I could hear. All hope was trumped, stamped out by fear.

Then I thought shit, I might as well try to hedge another bet to see how we could get by.

So I closed my eyes and recited a limerick, and hoped for new results like when Dorothy heard her shoes click.

I peeked out again to see what lay before me, I realized then that in my lifetime motherhood would never be.

Baron, baron that damn word was ringing in my ear. All these people around me, I could feel them leer.

As I sat in sorrow, listening to myself wallow, I heard a ringing I thought I should follow.

The sound was relentless, so I thought what is this shit? OH THAT’S MY ALARM RINGING, ALL RIGHT! I’M DONE WITH THIS DARK BIT!

As I woke suddenly, picked my glasses up off the shelf. I realized oh wow I made these fears up all by my damn self.

I have the power to change my perception, and make life like my own version of inception.

To plant the seeds that I deem to be a welcomed portion of my waking dream.