The Next Page

I've reached the page in my journal where gratitude begins to gaslight‐

as a coat of thankfulness is painted over unanswered prayers,

and I dance through the barren field of where the fruits of my labor should be...

I ask again, why I stand up again and again in these ceaseless battles.

I stand over this cross that I am to take up, daily...

looking over the edge of a cliff where gravity is begging for my life‐

and I am more than willing to give it.

As the taste of surrender burns my tongue,

I am face to face with a choice...

or rather, an ultimatum.

Will I place the weight of this cross back on my shoulders?...

or will let the weight of my own vessel bring me to the end of any unfinished story‐

an unknown number of pages remaining...

to be left blank, never to be written in‐

but of course I must continue, as all of what color I have left lies only in my heart.

~

I've reached the calendar date that places a price on the head of tomorrow‐

the cost of continuing is weighed by the tax of every battle...

as my life is put up for auction to the highest bidder amongst my own thoughts,

may the blood that drips from my halo be the ink that keeps tally‐

my attendance record, standing against the results that have still yet to show.

A life that has become synonymous with war,

I wouldn't wish upon even my worst enemy‐

as each day passes, another page is turned,

morning, noon, night...

each their own battle‐scared canvas,

these grounds have long been marred by the war fought over them‐

and the line between life and death have been blurred,

making the latter appear as the lesser of two evils...

may the color from my heart be the last of what spills on this page‐

as that is all of the only color I have left.

—

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Thank You For Reading!!!

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