My life is a navy notebook
Cracked and worn.
A glittering silver unicorn on the cover.
The binding is broken
Pages are falling out.
Some are tattered and torn.
Brittle yellow tape binds pieces together.
The blue ink on the early pages, faded and smeared
The looping cursive of a woman child’s dreams.
A decade of anger reflected it thick black ink
And tear stains.
Each entry dated
Sometimes minutes, sometimes years between.
The purple prose reflects and reminds,
Wounds and heals.
Everything that I have been is here.
The tight precise script of the academic
The messy unreadable scrawl when I answered to doctors.
Now, the space sits empty
Pristine white pages with pale blue lines
Waiting to see what comes next.
My life is a box of crayons.
Bright blue skies and orange suns
Replaced with murky swamp green
As teen fears and abusive fathers
Overtake childhood sunshine.
College is a swirl of pink and gray
Newsprint and hope co-mingling.
Light brown tea eyes of the man I love
And kelly green dresses of the first woman to love me back.
There’s an entire section of black
Bright black perky goth
Faded black t-shirts that are almost grey.
Royal purple ribbons
Blood red stains as my heart breaks.
Manilla and gray come with the diagnosis
Though they tell me awareness is bright orange.
I find my smile
When she wears a faded pink shirt with purple letters.
New love comes in calico
But I can’t find that crayon.
My life is a cardboard box
A messy jumble of books and toys,
Pans and dishes, clothes.
People, places and times.
The box is frayed, but sturdy.
Worn and tired, but ready to go anywhere.
And in the corner of the box,
My blue notebook calls to me
Demanding I write the next chapter.
Looking out the window and closing my eyes
I see the world is green.
Soft rain falls and the orange sun
Lights the rainbow that leads me home.
About the author
Lucinda Gunnin is a commercial property manager and author in suburban Philadelphia. She is an avid gamer, sushi addict, and animal advocate. She writes about storage and moving, gaming, gluten-free eating and more. Twitter: @LucindaGunnin