The Naked Woman in My Backyard

Saturday morning and I’m home alone not feeling like doing much of anything.

I just poured my first cup of coffee, the wake-me-up cup, when I look out the window and see a naked woman in my backyard. That surprises me since I’ve never seen a naked woman in my backyard before. Three thoughts enter my mind —

Who is she?

Why is she naked?

And why is she in my backyard?

I go to the back door and step out on the veranda. “Miss, can I help you with something?”

“Oh! Hi. No, I was just admiring your garden. It’s so beautiful and natural, like a little paradise. It’s so wonderful.”

I’m confused. What do you say to a naked woman who is not at all bad looking and is standing in your garden? “Thank you,” I say. “You’re right, it is paradise.”

“By the way, my name’s Eve. I’m your new next-door neighbor.”

“Hi Eve. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Adam and I live here.” What next. “Would you like a cup of coffee? Just made it,” I say.

We’re sitting on the veranda drinking coffee and talking about the neighborhood and nature and I have this awkward feeling that something is not right. It’s not that Eve is naked and is a stranger who I just met. It’s something else. Then I realize what it is. I’m butt-naked myself. I hadn’t yet dressed for the day.

This poem first appeared on Medium.