the mums demand honesty

on the 5th, we bought red mums

on the 9th, we had to put our cat down

on the 9th, at some pier

wind gusting

hair in my face

i wrote this

and hoped the wind

would take away some of the pain:

supposably

in some cultures

red chrysanthemums symbolize grief and honesty

in others

they can represent deep love and passion

which means

they can mark the beginning and the end

i didn't know that then

and i didn't much care

because despite whatever they mean

in whatever country

here

they mean you're not ignoring me

or tripping me

or giving me side-eye

or reaching for me

or meowing at me

or laying next to me

purring contently

---i would take all the bad with the good

because you would still be here

but instead

if i want to have you

reaching for me

meowing

laying next to me

i have to go where the red mums might one day

start flourishing

and sit

and pretend

***

yeah

this all seems much for a cat

but your fragrance (and grief)

demand i be honest

and now before the gray clouds

let lose their tears

let me water you

with mine