There is a void inside me
A black hole in the middle of my body
That calls to me each month.
We inhabit one body
A shared space we both must live in
But we are mortal enemies.
I’ve tried to control it
With hormones, pills, metal devices
Intruding painfully, unapologetically.
It tried to control me back
With vicious cramps, blood, embarrassment,
Back pain so bad I couldn’t move.
I respect it bedgrudgingly,
This miracle of nature, this wonder of the female body
Possessing the divine power of creation.
I pity it sometimes,
That dark hidden negative space within
That just wants to know life.
In my late thirties
We have come to a quiet understanding
A tacit ceasefire was agreed.
I leave the void in peace
No more interventions or excursions
On the battlefield of my body.
She leaves me in peace too.
No more agony or overflowing tides
Just a small monthly reminder.
“I’m still here, still empty,
Still waiting to fulfill my life’s purpose
And maybe yours too.”
Maiden mother crone
Three stages of a woman’s life.
But I am none of these.
“Time is ticking”
The void whispers each month,
But the voice is getting weaker.
About the Creator
Jenifer Nim
I’ve got a head full of stories and a hard drive full of photos; I thought it was time to start putting them somewhere.
I haven’t written anything for many, many years. Please be kind! 🙏
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