The Monsters in Me

I've got demons inside of me,

Maybe even the devil in disguise

My heart is now black, the bad thoughts sincere

I ask, but, pity I receive

when I have shed all of my cries

Those thoughts, these actions

In my mind, they taunt and play

I hate him! Get revenge!

These thoughts I ponder, before I even say

The devil and his minions, they sit upon my shoulder

These bastardly beings, crawling into my ear

"do it", "do it", those words I often contemplate

These evil, evil thoughts, so pure and sheer

I've got demons inside of me,

The legion, as they stand

Engulf and consume my innocent thoughts and

I shall release these forces, but,

in his ear, they shall land...

The Process of Pain Stage Two: Reminiscence

Why do I still think of you,

through the night and in the day?

I have an infestation of you in my dreams. Please,

leave my thoughts and the love will decay.

Fun, happy, sad, passionate times,

your laugh, your smile, your voice,

I feel you in my presence, but it's not real

I must accept facts, sadly, I have no choice.

I try to cloud my head with useless thoughts

because I really miss your touch.

Sometimes I smile, sometimes I cry

yet these thoughts, they don't help much.

I remember you, I remember us and

I will cherish the good I know.

I miss the happiness I felt, remembering what I want to hate

I wake up on a new day with my head still hanging low.

The Process of My Pain Stage Three: Sadness

My face is wet

My cheeks are too

My heart is shattered and scattered

I thought I was over you

I question why,

what did I do wrong?

I lost myself, am I the blame?

Why should I suffer for so long?

You loved hard and I loved harder

but was it even real?

My actions, so impulsive, I should have been smarter

The promises you made,

they are gone with the wind

they float and fly until they graze another girl

That hurts to know, but good wishes I will send

I gave and I got

what I should not have received

months later I am only taping myself together.

A better day is all I need

The Process of My Pain Stage Four: Moving On

Who is this? This new guy,

his warm embrace melts the old love away

I cannot hold onto you anymore.

People talk and I hear what they say,

"He's just one guy." But,

there's so much more

to this story, I don't dare admit

Some things are meant to lie in my core

I'm proud to say, so proud to believe

but, guess what? I'm moving on!

Those bleak days I once lived

are in the past, please God let them stay gone.