THE MINISTRY OF INCONVENIENCE

I.

They told me, quite firmly, “Efficiency is a threat to order.”

I laughed, assuming satire was finally government‑issued.

But the clerk only blinked, stamped my form,

and handed me a pamphlet titled Chaos Through Streamlining Prevention.

So I repeated it back to myself—

Efficiency is a threat to order—

and suddenly it sounded less like nonsense

and more like a mission statement carved into a very beige wall.

II.

By lunchtime, I understood: Efficiency is a threat to order.

The line for the cafeteria wound through three counties,

and the woman ahead of me was knitting a scarf long enough

to serve as a bridge between departments.

A sign above the trays read:

“Please take only one fork. Additional forks require Form 17‑B.”

I whispered the line again—

Efficiency is a threat to order—

and felt it settle into my bones like a bureaucratic prophecy.

III.

By evening, I believed it. Efficiency is a threat to order.

Because if things moved quickly,

someone might notice the gears don’t actually turn,

that the machine is powered entirely by sighs,

and that the Director of Workflow Optimization

has been on break since 1998.

Now the phrase rings almost heroic—

Efficiency is a threat to order—

a quiet rebellion disguised as compliance.