The mask is cold.
It stifles, it smothers.
But the world is cruel.
It shields me from the others.
.
The mask is cold.
It stifles, it smothers.
But the mask is stable.
It hides me from the others.
.
“To feel sadness is weakness.
Depression is a failure of the will.
Despair is a lack of manliness.”
Yet these maladies plague me still.
.
Like the mateless wolf,
into the night, I want to howl.
But none would hear the call,
so weakly, from the shadows, I growl.
.
The Darkness stalks me.
I feel its cold breath upon my neck.
For the mask I reach.
But all the while, the Darkness infects.
.
“You are not alone,” they say.
“There are many among us the same way.”
This clutches at an even greater fear, deep in my soul:
we are all drowning in the black waters without a lifeboat.
.
Red eyes stare at me from the shadows,
fangs glistening in a sickening grin.
With every doubt, every fear it grows.
Every shout, every tear is its kin.
.
We are hunted, you and I.
Everywhere with us it shall go.
Its aim is not for us to die,
but for us to wish it so.
.
“The mask! The mask shall save me,”
I cry in the face of the beast.
Yes, it hides my vulnerabilities
from those who scorn.
But also those who could remedy.
.
The shield grows burdensome,
and I grow tiresome.
It offers calmness, stability,
but emptiness, futility.
In the balance hangs my sanity.
.
My blemishes are concealed
but with them my true self.
Who I am, I can no longer tell
within this voluntary hell.
.
The red eyes gleam at my confusion.
I can feel them even now.
My constant comrade now disillusion.
To fight it all, I know not how.
.
“To feel sadness is weakness.
Depression is a failure of the will.
Despair is a lack of manliness.”
Yet these maladies plague me still.
.
The mask cracked, I am lost.
Moments of happiness fleeting.
Without a purpose, without a cause,
I admit my defeat.
.
Author's Note
Written a decade ago. I am much better now 😌
And the first step to making it here was to refuse to wear the mask anymore.
About the Creator
Stephen A. Roddewig
Author of A Bloody Business and the Dick Winchester series. Proud member of the Horror Writers Association 🐦⬛
Also a reprint mercenary. And humorist. And road warrior. And Felix Salten devotee.
And a narcissist:
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