The little of you I remember

There was a moment

in time - where

I remember - the shaking

in your mother's body

I saw, your feet, the blood

your legs and when you

arrived here - set free by a surgeon,

little old woman with deep

black hair and an ancient face.

You have since gone away.

I remember that first night,

you, rolled into a baby burrito

in between your mom and me.

I feared your little life

I might crush or smother.

In the morning I woke and

watched your first eyeball world -

did you trust us - and yes.

I remember -now, it's nature,

the way we were together

the three of us - just us.

As you explored across floors

and fell on your head, your hair

had become golden and you were

the child, the center, the love.

I remember school busses and

the celebration after basketball games

and you beginning every day

grown more than yesterday, already

standing in tomorrow as we cheered

for you, for us, for tomorrow.

I rememeber you and separating

and thinking yes, yes this is okay

and that it's supposed to be this way

and that this is okay because

she is grown now and I shoud be glad

- for her, that she is happy even when

She has gone far, far away.

--

I don't remeber her face anymore.

She used to say "when I go away

I'll call you every week and we'll talk-

a long loving talk about things

that matter most to us three.

I don't remember her voice anymore

Because she does not call and

I crave a moment of hearing

what that once was like.

I don't remember where she lives

because she won't tell and hides

when we pass by in public -

does she say "I don't know them?"

If only for a moment I catch

that rare glimpse, that passing

when a car rounds the intersection

and I ask "Is it her? did I see her?"

And now and then comes a moment,

yes, that's her in line at the market

and when I go to find her

I see only the car going down the road,

her husband drives - they don't look back.

The little of you I remember is the joy,

a smile, so seldom seen, that maybe

I invented it all - it is so far distant,

so - only in my mind- that I wonder

if you were really ever here.