The Ghost Who Needed a Diet

A ghost walked into a haunted bar,
Demanding to know where the spirits are.
The bartender pointed toward the door,
Said, "Buddy, you've been here before."

A witch flew past on a broomstick bent,
Her backside smoking from an accident.
She'd bought the broom on a clearance rack,
And now it wouldn't go forward or back.

A vampire showed up dressed in black,
With two fake fangs and a candy sack.
He tried to bite a chocolate bar,
And chipped a tooth on a candy star.

A zombie wandered down the street,
Dragging his left foot, missing his feet.
He knocked on doors for something sweet,
Then ate the candy and someone's receipt.

A skeleton went out on a date,
He picked a girl who looked first-rate.
He bought her roses, took her hand,
She said, "I'd love to, but where's your gland?"

A werewolf howled at half past ten,
Then shaved his back and tried again.
His barber charged an extra fee,
For all the fur he left behind the seat.

A mummy tried to join a gym,
The trainer took one look at him.
"Let's start with stretching, nice and slow."
The mummy said, "I've got nowhere to go."

The haunted house had lost its charm,
The ghosts were filing a noise complaint form.
The headless horseman had lost his head,
And blamed the landlord for the mess instead.

By midnight, all the monsters fled,
The witch had crashed, the vampire bled.
The zombies raided every store,
And ghosts were sleeping on the floor.

Lock your doors and hide your treats,
Keep candy far from zombie feet.
And if a skeleton knocks tonight,
Don't invite him in for a bite.

He'll eat your food, he'll steal your cake,
Then blame the dog for the mess he'll make!

Happy Halloween Everyone!