THE GENIE WHO SPOKE GIBBERISH

THE GENIE WHO SPOKE GIBBERISH

I found a bottle in the woods,
Half buried, half disturbed,
I picked it up and took it home,
And read aloud the words.

It said give this bottle one little rub,
And wishes will come true,
So I rubbed it hard, the cork shot off,
And out a genie flew.

Jibber jabber, jibber jabber,
Jabber dabber do,
I looked at him and shook my head,
What the heck is wrong with you?

He danced around my living room,
Then kicked and kissed my hand,
I hadn’t got the faintest clue,
What I could make him understand.

I’d like a dish of Irish stew,
I shouted loud and clear,
There was a flash, a puff of smoke,
And a little man appeared.

My name is Stu, the fellow said,
I’m Irish through and through,
I looked at him and shook my head,
I didn’t bloody ask for you.

You’re far too small for me, I said,
I want a handsome man,
Someone tall and gorgeous,
Now do the best you can.

There came another puff of smoke,
That filled my living room,
And out stepped this gorgeous man,
Through glitter and perfume.

Hello, my name is Sally,
Can you tell me what is yours?
He grinned and said, I’m Wolfman,
Hiya honey, let’s go indoors.

I got mad and kicked the bottle,
With all my bloody might,
It flew across the garden,
And disappeared from sight.

It landed in a muddy ditch,
The genie scrambled out,
Then suddenly in perfect English,
He began to shout.

You disrespectful little witch,
I understood each word,
I could speak English all along,
Every word you said I heard.

I was only having fun with you,
But now your chance has gone,
I’m not giving you your wish,
Your time with me is done.

There was a puff of smoke,
And glitter fell across the floor,
There was no sign of him or the bottle,
And I never saw them anymore.