I am full up with wanting.
Mine is not a frothing desire,
latte foam spilling over the rim.
My wanting does not
bubble on my lips,
effusive, but neither is it steady,
not a rumbling pull-crank
tug, hook wedged in me, closing
the gap between me and meaning
to a heave-ho rhythm.
My wanting is not a craving—
I do not salivate over
the warm-corn smell
of that baking morsel,
and perhaps never have I known
a notched-arrow-aiming,
eyes-squinting,
background-scenery-fading,
holy-grail-hunting
sort of wanting.
– – –
My wanting
is like a room.
A room of phantoms gorging
on their own drifting echoes,
a space both empty and
cramped, conjuring shelves
traversable only by ladder,
puffed full of books
I'll die before reading.
Some days I close the door on it.
In earnest I trace the lines
of some other new map,
only to find myself halfway
deflating, peering down
into a compass in a blackout zone,
(that needle just spinning),
and still I carry
that tall-pines-in-all-directions,
frayed-boots, small-slice-of-sky
sort of wanting.
A sort-of wanting.
A wanting
I want to sort through,
tomorrow.
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