The end of the world

This season the end of the world came early - before the first snow, and wizards that were in the know announced it was out with the old. All large screen TVs went on sale, including A90 from Sony and while deals on carpets were phony, who ever buys carpet retail? "Buy now! Buy before it's too late!" screamed posters in neon-bright letters,"Discounts will never be better! We open tomorrow at 8!" The "Doomsday Scenario" play sold out at the Kennedy Center but those who were waiting to enter were told to expect a delay. All channels, newspapers and sites kept talking of social distance and warned that unholy resistance may lead to constriction of tights. Disruptions in TP supplies were blamed on addiction to fiber, on China, on hoarding, on cyber and on presidential lies. Fresh out of traditional foes - like Spectre and Blomfeld and Russians - the Bond crew was deep in discussions with Martians and UFOs. Last rites and advice to get stoned were offered to procrastinators - but then due to shortage of waiters the end of the world got postponed.