The Dwindling Of Expectations

Hidden in the deepest depth of her Soul is a tiny nook,

Coveted behind an arched doorway, bolted by a lock and key,

Bookshelves line the walls, glass jars of wisdom sealed tight,

Perch precariously upon the shelves.

She has a hard and fast rule,

One destined never to be broken,

Is it matter of life and death?

No, but it saves her cracks from totally shattering.

You know that place between waking and sleep?

That’s the only time she allows visiting hours,

When she’ll rifle through the aged love affairs,

That will always exist behind that doorway.

See, she’s not big on love any more,

But boy, when she was — well, it was beyond beautiful,

It was mesmerising, all consuming,

And downright devastating!

She now sails a smoother course,

Roads that are a little less bumpy,

Her chest still carries the residual pain,

And her eyes remember well the tears that cascaded.

I hear you whisper how boring her life now travels,

Because she no longer drowns in the darkest abyss,

That one where she was rescued time and time again,

By the very souls that threw her there in the first place.

Now, the love she holds is self-soothing,

Bittersweet memories locked tight,

Silence golden, the handcuffs loosened,

As she’s learning to navigate the freedom reigned.

She’s got a long way to go,

She still needs to learn to bend the rules thrust upon her from the past,

Daily battles are fought as the war upon her demons continue,

While she surfs the highs and lows within her darkness.

She wrote this contract in innocent blood,

Long before she understood the consequences of time,

Her shallow breathing a stark reminder,

Of the reasoning behind her very existence,

Lessons taken from her hands — loosening and out of her control.