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The drug of jealousy

what a circle of jealousy feels like

By Lily CaudillPublished about a year ago 2 min read
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The drug of jealousy
Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

I crack open the door and look around his home. “Your place disgusts me,” I say under my breath

I see you’ve come to see me again. He says as he takes a drag off his cigarette.

“Then why are you here?” He asks with a raised eyebrow

I take the cig from his fingers and smashed it into the ashtray and we both watch as it smolders.

“You know why I’m here,” I say slowly

He laughs like he is clever.

“Where are the goods you promised me?” I say quickly and cross my arms

He pushes himself onto the chair he was sitting in and fixes his tie. “You know where it is. “How about you get it yourself.”

I loathed him. I loathed myself for coming here again. I tell myself it’s the last time every time.

He smiles wickedly

I throw my hands around his neck like I’m about to choke him and then I slowly bring my mouth to his adam’s apple. I take the tip of my tongue and run it along his throat all the way to his mouth. He tastes so bitter, but with every second I become more intoxicated in him.

I felt my body shiver. It was what I needed. I brought my lips to his and he slowly works his tongue into mine.

I needed him more, but the more I am in his presence the more I loath myself.

I pulled myself away. “I’m done I’m not doing this anymore” I yell out.

“That’s fine doll, but I know you’ll be back tomorrow and if not tomorrow, the next day after”. He sat back at his desk and pulls a new cigarette from the pack and lights it. “You’re in love with me”

I stand there for a moment in pure fury. I walk out the door and slam it behind me.

I get home and my machine has voicemails from him. I try to erase them before anyone else sees them.

As I lay my head down to sleep, and all I can hear is his voice still ringing in my ears.

I look at my lover and all I can think of is the face of jealsouly

sad poetry
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About the Creator

Lily Caudill

I take inspiration from my family roots in The Appalachian Mountains of Kentucky. You will find that my works have a darker undertones with a dash of humor. I am currently working on a novel Conflict of Interest. I hope you enjoy.

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