The Disappearing Words

Images of words in my mind 
Tried talking out loud 
But the words disappear 

My mouth opens to speak 
But nothing comes out 
My eyes are playing tennis 
While the water in my brain becomes ice 
The ice hardens in my mind 

My eyes close with fear 
My body is shaky inside
Wanting to cry 
Tears reject my eyes 

I start taking slow
Deep breaths

The ice begins to melt
The words appear in my mind
My eyes begin to awaken

I rub my thigh
The ice is finally melting 
I open my eyes

The sun begins to rise 

This poem is about when my brain freezes during social activities; it feels like there’s no escape. Like I rehearse what I want to say and then when I'm finally about to say it the words are gone, and I can’t find the words; they aren’t there, but once I can close my eyes and breathe, I remember that I am just human and that sometimes my brain freezes to protect me from being judged but at the end I know there’s a reset button.