The Demon I Once Loved

The demon I once loved nearly scared me to death. No heart—just threats, and heavy breath. I tried to understand him, gave all I could stand, but each time I rose, he would crush my command. I burned every bridge, every step, every track just to breathe on my own, to not look back. He never saw what I carried inside only returned when my soul nearly died. I wept for a ghost who never wept for me, clung to echoes, too blind to see. Then a soul of light stepped into view, and taught my heart that love could be true. His hands, his kiss, his gentle tone became the place I now call home. No more screaming, no more fear he made the demons disappear. I won’t forget the one who left me torn but scars, like maps, help us be reborn. You have to face the dark to see the light, and know the wrong to choose what’s right.

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Author’s Note:

I wrote the original version of this poem sometime around 2013 or 2014, in the aftermath of an abusive relationship. At the time, I didn’t fully understand the weight of what I’d been through—or why I stayed for as long as I did. The “demon” in this poem was, in part, the person who hurt me. But it was also the darker part of myself—the part that believed I deserved the pain, that mistook chaos for passion, and that couldn’t see a way out. Revisiting this poem years later, I realize it wasn’t just about him. It was about reclaiming my voice, burning the bridges that led me back to destruction, and slowly learning what love—real, safe, healing love—could look like. If you’ve ever loved the wrong person, or blamed yourself for surviving something you never should’ve had to endure, I hope this reminds you: healing is messy, but possible. And sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is forgive ourselves for the darkness we didn’t yet know how to escape.