The Day They Turned Me Into a Chola (I'm Asian)

As an actor and a comedian, I am broke

So when you tell me you’ll pay me, I get stoked

One day I got a call asking if I’m free now

They’ll pay me so I said “wow.”

I didn’t ask for details, I just went

For me, the dollars were heaven sent

They sent me to hair and make-up like it was a race

Because “there was a lot of work to do on my face”

They told me not to be offended ‘coz it’s the role

They need to turn me Mexican, again, it’s the role

They made my yellow and chinky face brown

And they put fake moles above my frown

Even my lips were lined and my eyebrows were thick

They made me a chola and it was so sick!

The director taught me how cholas properly greet

He said “cholas say ‘pallabra’ on the street”

So I greeted everyone “yo, pallabra, man!”

Apparently, I was saying “yo, word, man!”

That was also the first time I read the script

And, oh, I felt as if I got whipped

Not only was I playing a brown and tough chic

I also loved pussy when I actually love dick

And I have no regrets as it was an honorable crusade

Because for those three days, I got paid

*If you don't believe me, here's the picture

***I actually had a lot of fun on this set, and none of us (either me or the production) means anyone any harm. The reason why I was called was because their actors (2 of them) dropped out last minute when everyone was already on set and ready to shoot. I was the only one who they could get to go there last minute