The comfort of unanswered calls:

You know when you haven’t picked up the phone in a while to answer that video call? And you also haven’t showered in a day and a half, so your hair is definitely unkempt. But then in the morning, you wake up and suddenly, you have energy to call back. You muster up the courage for conversation and pick up the phone. You even set it to video call and then, you see ‘Calling’ on the Whatsapp screen. The relief of not seeing the ‘Ringing’. And so you know they won’t answer, but you still keep looking and then you notice your eyebrows and they’re kind of raggedy and you can almost see the little girl in yourself? The girl that had that same messy but smooth hairline, those soft and unbrushed eyebrows, and you can almost swear your eyes are brighter, like they were when you were 6 years old. I love it when the video call isn’t answered and I get to look back at myself in this way. And then I get to sit with that little girl for a while, and I get to have the conversations I was really avoiding. The calls with my younger self.

The comfort of redirection, reflected in your stubbornness as it supports your healing.

“Come out of the cave,

you need to be brave,”

she pleads. And so, because she is so soft, and in need, and really deeply cares for you, you listen.

“You will overcome this depression again

You are allowed to try start again in many ways”