The Colors of My Soul

My soul was disrupted

as the darkness came about.

My weaknesses became the best of me

so the demons, they came out.

Image of lines being realigned,

the color of red across my mind,

why try to ruin a life so divine?

Jumped into a hole

that was dug not only by other than myself.

For I wished that hole would expand into a grave,

as I felt I no longer could be saved.

Instead I was stuck in the hole

surrounded by that darkness,

nothing but black,

mute, blind, and helpless.

Many days seemed like nights,

and nights that never would see the day.

As emotions would not ever be found,

so there in bed I would lay.

Lay as I wished I could in my grave,

but nevertheless I stayed.

I was in a wave caught in the current,

suffocating, fighting different blues,

difficulty in finding any escape, exit or route.

Endlessly searching for my opening cues

in a sea of violent unheard cries and muffled shouts.

Help me, help me I’m trying to find a way out.

In the sea that surrounded me were strangers,

offering hands filled with deceit,

their twisted smiles and gifts of calamity,

holding money green eyes and crow’s feet.

But it was the temptation of my sorrows

that keep me in the sea,

for they needed comfort

and wanted to be free.

My cries were shared,

but my tears shed were taken by the waves,

it left my soul impaired.

And traveled ear to ear of others

no mercy and with no care,

my trust slowly being ripped away,

even that could not be spared.

And just when grain by grain unknowingly,

but finally knowingly.

As light came upon,

the cold truth within the strangers hearts,

allowing to be released,

granted me yearned ascension.

I’m free from the dark.

It was the soft light of yellow by me,

that had shown the hidden reality.

Of what surrounded me fed negativity,

while the love and positivity I longed

laid within the ones whom I found home.

The memories of the pain,

feelings of hopelessness, bitterness, and unhappiness.

All the nights and days laid in shame,

countless times I was to blame.

On my knees, I prayed many times to God,

oh please, become aflame.

Strength, power and forgiveness

of the mind was all it took.

For although long and delayed

that mentality I forsook,

was the first step to healing

to my life a better shear outlook.

And slowly by slowly,

the red turned to white.

The darkness was conquered by the light.

My soul could finally breath

as this gift of life was not finite.

By the beauty of happiness,

rooted from self love -anew love,

blossomed into a norm.

Learning that my imperfections,

were not made to per-fect.

The rekindled holistic objective I adorned.

With self growth and knowledge that perfect did not exist,

satisfaction was with-in.

Deep inside laid my bliss,

dissatisfaction was now amiss.

To thrive with thankfulness and humility,

my self betterment and free spirit

became my peace and tranquility.

To realize the truth lied within the perception of the mind,

all thoughts refined.

And when the near felt at an end,

my faith and hope remained tenfold

so all the tribulations I overcame

could now be my story here being told.

Now the colors of my soul shining,

free to live unapologetically bold.