The Beginning

I stood in place for far to long…I couldn’t hear anything over the roar of injustice, the sinking stone in my stomach, the throat that felt like it had closed into itself..and the keen wailing that only the broken and betrayed can recognize.

The knife lodged in my back from betrayal left me shredding myself piece by bloody piece as I left who I was on the floor. I couldn’t take her with me…I had to abandon her, as he abandoned us.

Her screams haunts me as I shut the door behind me, firm in my decision to go.

I secretly visit her from time to time in the darkest recess of my heart. I tiptoe there to lean against the door and beg for her forgiveness. It’s a place I can’t return to, and won’t admit openly to the yearning to do so. How easy it would be, to return to what we knew, to believe the words he swears are earnestly truthful now…

I’ve changed. I can’t live without you. I’m sorry. I love you.

His lies are filled with a tinge of guilt, and no truth.

i know this, so I never follow though.

I trudge on through the days, determined to create a semblance of a life.

I wonder if he cherishes the gift I left for him. As I ruthlessly severed each tie, I left one intact.

The final proof of my existence, of the girl who loved with entirety, who revolved her world around him.

May she haunt him as she haunts me.