That girl in the corner.

Half and half rant, it was meant to be just a poem. i dont write much anymore, but sometimes i just wake up with words i feel the need to create something with. .................................. The years have gone by and the world has moved on but me? i? im standing, almost still, just watching it all go by. I'm slowly spinning, turning. observing silently its like im not even here maybe im not? maybe im just an illusion in your mind. a distant past memory. a dream or maybe a nightmare. this is how i feel a lot. so remember not to judge everybody the same. or to not judge anybody at all. i may not act the same as you or your friends. im quiet i know, but im here. and i hear. i hear everything i see everything. im not being rude if im out with you and being quiet. i do want to be there. i dont wanna go home i am having a good time and no im not sad shes hard to talk too she looks bored etc etc etc just of the few questions , a few of the judgements i get just for being someone who naturally chooses to be quiet if i didnt want to be somewhere, i wouldnt be. i wouldnt go i do not go to places where i dont think im going to be comfortable. so if you see me somewhere, i am happy and want to be there. im not bored or sad or any of these other things. im just being me internally spinning, observing, quietly commenting in my mind im not judging. i dont think im special and i am not shy either. this is just me. this is who i am and this is how i am do not try to change me you cant anyway. i do not appreciate the teasing about being so quiet. honestly im not talking because i dont like you. my brain is just different. i hear so many people doing small talk. i personally do not know how to do this and so i dont try. once when i was young , i tried to learn it, i tried to learn to verbalise every thought and more that entered my mind. i couldnt do it it wasnt for me. i talk naturally if i have something to actually say, something to add. words that i feel have a purpose behind them. a meaning a fact or a opinion. and i dont appreciate people trying to force me to do something out of my comfort zone. if i want to talk i will and if i want to do the out of my comfort zone thing then ill try. but thats my choice. i should be the one to decide if i will or if i wont. i will decide. im too different for most people. thats fine to be fair i only want people around who..... understand me or at least care too, try too. so please try not to be so judgemental of that girl sitting quietly in the corner. you do not know what is in her mind or on her mind. she may just be fine being the way she is doing her own thing. peacefully living in her own little world with the people she loves and needs busying about around her. its just how she is its just how it is and she is content. she is happy. and she is me.