Temporary Death

I can't help but wonder what would it truly be like,

to silence my heartbeat, and command time itself to cease its pulse,

to cast the world into a standstill,

the good into a safe space, the bad left untold.

***

I wonder what it would be like,

to freeze beliefs and moments in time’s unyielding grip,

to halt feelings before they turn to pain,

to lock ever evolving thoughts into place.

***

I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to temporarily die.

To simply bypass life,

to be untouched by its joy and sorrow.

Just once, to take a break from breath until the days after tomorrow.

***

I wonder if I could temporarily….

just once, cease from being unseen,

pause from being fake,

not that I desire to flee, I just want a fleeting escape.

***

I can’t help but wonder, if I could put myself to sleep,

just a handful of days, no more, no less,

to break the cycle and to let life's chaos slide aside,

let my rented body silently drift in stillness, bruised and unguided.

***

I wonder if , when I close my eyes…

just for a while, just for a breath,

the world might soften, becoming something gentler,

and my restless mind might find some shelter.

***

I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I were non-existent.

It's not like I am seen (in) anyWay?

But just for while, to be distant,

from all these inconsistencies I ordinarily obey.

***

I wonder what would happen,

if I suspend pretending I am fine,

if I yelled the truth to all these souls, who never seem to read the signs,

and let the walls come down, which once protected me from the world's decline.

***

Yet, I wonder if temporary death,

would be the answer to it all.

If taking away my breath,

wouldn't be a wake up call.