There are moments where I say, screw it, it happened and it made me the woman I am today.
It made me stronger, it made me even more resilient.
But then, but then there are moments, moments, like this one, where I don't feel at all strong, but I feel faint
and I can barely remind myself to catch my own breath.
My mind eats away at itself without cease trying to send away the spirits of you that haunt me during my darkest hours.
My heart now aches for a love to replace what I gave to you
You ran around with a tall glass of my affection and watched it spill until I was half empty
And now empty is the only perspective I see.
Trying to quench this insatiable thirst my heart yearns for, seems as impossible as bringing back a soul from the heavens.
But it was my mistake to have made an ass out of you and me, to think forever was existent, for time is nothing but a construct
And my hopes were nothing but a lit cigarette intoxicating my lungs
While I was well aware of the consequences when I brought it to my lips, each and every single fucking time.
For even tho in the moment, the idea of love seemed so sweet and promising, it left nothing but a bitter taste in my mouth that I can’t get rid of, no matter how many times I spit away at anything that reminds me of the way you touched my life.
I wish I could erase you from my memory like erasing a silly doodle on a bent and creased up paper
But instead of using pencil, I wrote you in ink;
And instead of writing on paper, I carved you into my skin.
About the Creator
Nicole Lara
‘Til death we do art.
Expressing myself seems a lot simpler and more beautiful when my thoughts are in written form.
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