Tangible

Tofu fried in coconut oil.

Just a little bit of fat;

fat that belonged on my bones.

Fat you melted off of them

with your icy glare

and your wild, uneven heartbeat.

Fat that took up space;

that had once dared to exist

and had left me

to deal with the winter on my own.

Fat that I needed on my organs.

Fat as a protective barrier

around my heart.

I consumed fat--just a little

bit of fat--

as an insistence on my right

to have form

and tangibility.

I slipped behind you carefully,

in the shadows.

I knew my defiant act of existence

must be a secret.

You found out about the tofu

fried in coconut oil.

But it was too late.

I had already built enough onto myself

to shed you.

find more at patreon.com/samanthaclarke