sweet creature.

My dad owned a farm and he would often have sickly animals on board, and this one particular animal stuck with my heart for so long after. Here is a poem I wrote about our connection.

Such a sweet little creature,

And it was so profound that

He was my teacher.

The little bull could barely walk

But it almost seemed like

He wanted to talk to me.

He wanted to relay to me

What he had just seen

Before coming out the womb.

He wanted to help me bloom.

I could barely get out of the bed,

But it brightened my day to see him each day.

Getting him his hay was such a blessing

And it was almost like meditation

Every little session we had together.

I knew our time together wouldn’t last forever

But I enjoyed each moment like the last.

My father said you could make it,

But I just didn’t think so.

You were so gentle and fragile,

It almost broke my heart

When they said your heart had a hole.

My eyes were swollen

By the time they dried.

I kissed your head

And didn’t leave the bed for a week.

I watched you from the window occasionally,

But it pained me too much to leave.

I told my father I was sick

But really I was just sick of seeing you this way.

Almost 7 days and I was pushed to stand by your side.

I almost cried getting dressed.

It was just too much stress

And I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing you this way.

Day by day

I had to fight back fears of losing you

And the tears didn’t want to stop flowing.

I guess it helped for growing

And healing;

But I wish I didn’t have to heal from that.

I wish I didn’t want you back.

A few months go by and you get a big bigger,

But not by much.

I know you’re planning to croak

Anytime soon.

I know I’m gonna miss you

And it makes my throat dry.

But I felt I had to be strong,

For you.

It didn’t look it,

But I knew when you were in pain.

It always left stains on my shirt

And I hated how it made my throat dry.

I hated the thought of you ever having to die.

My father thought it strange that we got so close,

But it wasn’t weird to me.

It was a bad way too cope,

But I knew I had to treasure you.

I knew one day soon I would never see you again.

Your parents seemed to know too,

And they were so protective of you.

They only let me around

And it felt so profound how sad it made everyone.

Even my evil older sister Beth shed a tear or two.

All this commotion for you,

The gentlest bull I had ever seen.

The kindest creature I had ever had the pleasure to meet.

I might miss you for a lifetime,

As it’s already been 5 months since you left.

I know you’re still around,

Likely manifesting in the wind.

You sometimes help the flowers pollinate and

You make it cool when it’s too hot to bare.

I miss your little tail

And the way it flickered at my father.

You were such a trickster

Even in your weakness.

O

How I adored your sweetness.

If you had ever hurt a fly

I’m sure you’d have felt remorse.

The day you were no more

I know I felt so horrible.

But my father had reminded me,

That now you didn’t feel so weak

And you were better off there

Than you ever were here.

I didn’t want to believe it,

But after much grieving

I did finally receive it.