Suicide

Imagine playing a video game

And testing out the controller

You’re new

And frustrated

With how uncomfortable

The lack of flexibility

Shovels you around

Within what you expected

Would be doable

So you fall off a cliff

Only to land right back where you started

And if you’re lucky

You’ll land right back where you started

Or maybe

You’ll pick up where you fell

But you’ll have to maneuver

To make sure you don’t fall again

And maybe you feel you’ve become

More experienced

But you’re still in the same level

From when you fell

And you have one less life

You’re conscious of it

Anxious of it

But grateful it’s not “the end”

Because then you’d have to

Truly reboot

The system

The same one that chimes

When you unwind

Flailing over the incline

Of the mountain side

You can hear the sound

Of the same metamorphosis

Of the endorphins that

You finally felt

When you felt real again

For a moment

Until you

Begin again.