Our grocery cart squeaks down the grocery aisle
I decline the food Mom chose
A stranger snaps that I’m rude and vile
While my mother’s silence grows
🧁
Why didn’t she stand up and speak for me?
I spoke softly, I meant no harm
Why must she let them attack her child
Without even a small hint of alarm?
🧁
I’m thirteen now, and her older friend
Says he can’t wait till I turn of age
Mom laughs it off, so I bite my tongue
Smothering the fear and the rage
🧁
That doesn't feel right, it feels so wrong
A grown man speaking that way
Why didn’t she shield me? Why did she laugh?
What was I supposed to say?
🧁
A mother myself in a cold white room
The doctor is harsh and unkind
He touches me wrong, then forces a hug
Leaving a trauma behind
🧁
They tell me to calm down and not make a scene
To stay quiet, stay small, and comply
But that wasn't routine, it violated my skin
And no one could answer me why
🌶️
The family takes and they call me names
A doormat they use and abuse
My husband asks why I don't stand up
Confused by the path that I choose
🌶️
But he also told me to not cause a fuss
To see their side, to be meek
Conditioned for years to swallow the truth
I forgot how a woman should speak
🌶️
My daughter is hit and her toy is smashed
She whimpers but bends to their will
I shout, "Why on earth didn't you tell them to stop?!"
As my heart grows suddenly chill
🌶️
"I wanted to be the bigger person," she says
"To please them, to follow the rule."
I see my own shadow trapped in her eyes
The product of a lifelong school.
🌶️
My son steps ahead of a woman's cart
I apologize, holding my hand out to wait
She rolls her eyes and looks at her phone
An unprompted gesture of hate
🖕
"OK then, we'll go," I announce out loud
Unapologetic and tall
"Some people should teach their kids manners," she sneers
Surgically enhanced and small.
🖕
I turn with a smile that's sharper than steel
The decades of silence erase...
"Speak of my children one more damn time
And I’ll slap the silicone out of your face."
🖕
They trained me to choke on the anger I felt
Then questioned my silence and shame
But Pandora’s box has been opened wide
And I am no longer the same
🖕
The peace keeping girl they broke is now dead
The quiet compliance is through
You wanted a monster by pushing too far?
Now you can fuck off, all of you
🖕
About the Creator
Sara Wilson
I love Ugly Things.
I try and be active AND interactive.
I write... whatever I feel.
Sometimes it's happy.. sometimes it isn't. But it's real. And it's me.
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