Suffocating

The mask I’m wearing, is suffocating.

Air no longer flowing.

A hand around my throat.

And it won’t let go.

Bruised skin, head starts to spin.

Heart slowing, feels like floating.

Kinda hoping it’ll end, to Neverland it’ll send.

Into nothingness I can transcend.

But then the grip loosens and I can breathe once more, and again that door to somewhere better shuts and I no longer have the guts to grab the knob .

So I awaken from self sedation, sigh in frustration.

Go back to my self hatred, that thought of freedom slowly faded.