Poets in Motion
Poets in Motion

Stranger to My Skin (Pt. 3)

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Stranger to My Skin (Pt. 3)

Locked up without a cause or reason for, I found myself staring out a window. It was a desolate tree and I love that tree. The walls were as white as eggshells and the floor was tiled. Day one I was confused, I believed I was in the right place at the right time but I was wrong. I'm surrounded by strangers both On My Level and above me. The blue scrub wearing strangers held keys to understandings that were beyond my own. I was put in place yet, I was out of place.

Everything around me seemed to blend together and the people blended in with the walls. I felt like the only living creature; the only living being within a 30 mile radius. I was trapped for seven days, 7 days of being trapped. I had come to realize that I truly am nothing more than this body to most who are grounded in reality. Reality being the universally understood and comprehended reality in which we all share. The reality of the tangible and the physical.

I've become more than this body, I believe. I've become more than the skin that holds me here in this realm of truth and on this plain of existence. These thoughts all seemed to mix effortlessly with my own understandings that I am you as you are I.

We may share this realm of tangible touch, we may share the consciousness that births life into us - the individuality and understanding that we are not alone, but we are still separate in our understandings over another's feelings and structure behind what spiritually and mentally makes us up.

Everything seemed to make sense until two days into my stay when I suddenly realized I didn't need to go. I had realized, I had to get out of there because their methods weren't working for me. My mind being in a constant race of thoughts that free fall; that freeform; that breathe, I paced the floors waiting for release. All the while, I was thinking that I am nothing more than this body; thinking thoughts that I am nothing more than this skin; thoughts of me being nothing more than this man slowly flooded my conscious as the overwhelming anxiety teased my stomach tight. I was growing extremely anxious as the days went on. But, the notions about my spirituality being nothing more than just an idea are false in its depths of truth.

My soul like phoenix cycle runs deeper than just this body that hosts my consciousness. My soul like phoenix cycle rebirths new flames of depth into my being and breathes new heights in my awareness. So, with that being said, I may only be a male to you in this tangible reality, but I exceed the limitations of a physical form in my spirituality and in my consciousness. You may only see me as this boy, you may even only see me as a person, but I am so much more than this physical host body that I represent in your tangible reality that it goes beyond comprehension.

We are all a mind, body, and soul combined into one to represent each different facet of God's nature. God's nature being mysteriously unknown to just one consciousness or mind for it is great in it's all. Life isn't limited to our ideas or beliefs for life itself is grandeur when being compared to our limited comprehension or interpretation of it. So, for you to say that you completely understand your own being would be a false statement. To claim that you can comprehend or grasp the entirety of the unlimited vastness to God's true nature would be false in its truth. As to define another person's soul and to be factually "correct" in what is defined would be constitutionally impossible because each individual being feels and interprets from their own personalized knowledge and they vibrate at their own frequency.

As of now, I may only be my physical representation to you; this male form without a cause. As of now, I may only be this host body that holds pain in your eyes, but I have a knowing that your truth is just as true as mine in their natures. That, your truth is just as real as my own, being constructed of nothing more than thoughts and reconditioned opinions which are created by an individual understanding and how one conceives actual reality. It goes without saying then, that we're both "correct" and "incorrect" in our truths for they are one in the same through expression but differ in meaning.

So, for one to claim that they are limited to what their body represents would be an understatement of the year. As I believe, not that this is factual but, we are so much more than what we can conceive in our puny limited minds. To say that we are one thing and to claim it as our truth is the act of giving a definite to an infinite amount of possible outcomes and possibilities. So when I say that I am more than my host body; when I say that I am more than this skin, what I truly mean is that I am a product of God, therefore a product of life, and also a product of creation for I, too, am a creator. So when I say my soul stretches farther than my limbs could ever imagine, what I truly mean is my spirit knows no definites or bounds in regards of wearing labels or being pegged for something.

Even though I may only be what you can see on the outside, even though I may even just be a loser to you, those are limited understandings that nobody else can claim besides you. For, it is your truth to see me that way. And when they said the sky's the limit, what they meant by that was we are all limited to what is directly in front of us. Well, I for one have been staring into the night sky, which makes space itself the only limit to which I am limited to. The stars above may not be in my reach, but one day this body will cease to be and I'll then transcend from this form energetically, becoming a star both physically and consciously. I will become a free flowing burst of symmetry that'll be one with the all of the cosmos; transforming my spirit into something that'll be beautifully unknown in its entirety.

Now I ask of you, when you look at me, don't look at this host body; when you look at me, don't focus on my skin, but look past the me you see to find the you that is within me. Look into the you represented through me; the you that is consciously breathing, that is consciously alive, that is consciously and undeniably your mirrored image being reflected back at you. You will find that my depths are more than just a shallow pool of collective knowledge and egotistical ambitions. You will find new levels of awareness. So when I say my soul is like a phoenix cycle, what I mean is when I am in your presence you are in mine. When I say my soul is like a phoenix cycle, what I mean is that we is he as she is us. When I say that I am you, I mean it spiritually and unconsciously. Which then brings me, this stranger to their skin, back to default.

Brent Horling
Brent Horling
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Brent Horling

I'm a free spirit, who is usually lost in free thought. As life goes on and I age closer to my death, I've come to realize that these free thoughts seem to be all I truly have. And that's okay.


See all posts by Brent Horling