Stop.

Staples 

 Nipples

  Identical

   Deadameter

    Entropy 

                  Stop

                           Broken

                            Unspoken

                              Token 

                                Choking 

                                  Heretic 

                                   Usurper 

                                     Retributory 

                    Stop I can't just stop like I know what I'm even doing here. Like know which way north is or what ends my head and arse occupate in the space of expanding atmosphere I am taking up more of with every breath and dodgy moment of my right knee.

                    Stop

                                      Alcoholic and chemical strains rust and purify in equal and unequal measures the state I'm in. Body and mind are more or less functioning in steady disrepute and decline 

                                      Sublimation

                                     Knowledge is a foredrawn conclusion 

                                    Vermilion paints my glassy eyed vision

                                   Atrophies are Apostrophes set to antagonise 

                                  Ever heard the tale of the old man who sought wisdom and pearls from tyrants and dilettantes?

                                 Faustus fosters an ever collapsing ideal that we all do what we want for process and damn the consequences

                                Damn the consequences 

                               Broken people broken promises 

                              Damn the ravens the scavengers corvus the crows draped over like a debutante chucking guts with cheap cider and cheaper thrills as they pick at me

                              Stop 

Remember to fill up on crud and carbs of no functional purpose.

Remember to tip your local tavern barkeep and local counsoler 

But the lonely 

                       But the lonely 

                                            Will always need

And Satre was right and Nietzsche was right but God was right and George Harrison was never wrong 

           And the sound of second hand phone calls make me bleed internally.

Stop

        Consequences the damn

        Stop

Depend on nothing 

Except the space between your breaths as a counterattack to death's crooked chisel. 

Second hand phone calls. 

When you're sat in the room and the person on the other end is talking to your partner or room occupant and the sound 

drags 

           d

            r

             a

               g

                   s

its graphic equaliser spikes down my ear drums and into the cavernous-cavenous acres of flesh and drags a pathway to my heart. You can hear both voices and the one on the other end crackles a little and stutters intermittently.

Drapes 

Scrapes 

 Pares 

  Acre

   Rec

Damn

 And then I think back 

  To when I had more hope 

   And also less hope equal 

To those around me who never felt a distant pull towards the ever increasing circular vortex of ideas and plans and plans and consequences and unforseen academic obstacles and interpersonal breakdowns in communication with first hand phone calls and forgotten promises and neglected relationships and forgotten self and neglected self forgotten breakdowns and consequences 

Stop 

...

Elepsis

           For a stop 

           A moment 

A breath 

...

Sometimes 

                  I want it all to end. To leave it all behind and get lost in paradoxes of my own creation.

Sometimes

                  I want it to end before it drags me down further than I can bear. Further than I've already been. 

To 

            Find

                               Rock 

                                    Bottom

                                   Has

                                A 

                  Dnoyeb

A void 

           within 

a void 

           within 

a void 

           within 

                      a crisis 

I 

 Can't 

           Compete 

Or 

     Meet

The 

      Standards 

I

 Set 

For 

 Myself

I'm 

     In

     C

      o

       m

        p

         l

          e

           t

            e

But right now I need to put outside clothes on put on my outside face and go to see my mother in the hospital because love is vital.

                                           Vital