Still Sadness

It hurts to know that I am back at round one. My sorrow swallowed up in one sum. My heart broken into pieces like pennies. I have love, but I don’t plenty. How many people want to help me? I’m guessing not many. It sucks to know that through the process, I was humble and still I fumble. I thought the worst already happened to me. I am starting to think that I will never see best, successful me. I wonder what could I do to get out of my situation. There is no other way, but hard work and dedication. It seems like the harder I try to get out of my funk, the more my issues stunk. The feeling of pain I can’t get over even though I try. Sometimes I just want to lay down and cry. I feel that there is no hope for me or my future. I get further way from my goals every time I reach it. Sometimes I ask God what am I here for. Am I something special? Am I more than worth it? I think so. Some people are okay to work a nine to five, but I want more. I want to be able to go to the sea shore when ever I feel like it. Is that too much to ask? Maybe wanting more than what you need is a sin. I only yearn for these things. I’m not even asking for a diamond ring. Just a piece of the pie from my passion. Is that irrational?