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Steppum Eht

I couldn't think of a better title? Tiny Elmo-sized content warning - might ruin your childhood?

By Paul StewartPublished about a month ago 2 min read
Steppum Eht
Photo by Sean Foster on Unsplash

"You know The Muppets are evil incarnate, right?"

he asked with a quiver and quake

as the blood dispersed from his face

"The puppet controls the hand, don't you know?"

he continued, as his eyes tracked mine

as I looked to his blood-stained hands

"Are you a muppet or a hand?"

he asked, as I felt something shift within me,

under my skin, against my spine

"What was that", I asked, knowing I would not like the answer

I did not like the answer

because the answer became the reason,

I am standing over this sleeping maiden

with a knife in one hand and a bucket of fish in the other

"Mah", called out the fair buxom maiden

as she woke to see me standing over her

"na Mahna", I gravely replied with a solemnness

that would send a chill down Nosferatu’s spine

I placed a fish upon her head, as a graven and

yet sacred sacrifice to the Muppets

"It's time to play the music", she said, as she danced,

or writhed, wriggled or maybe convulsed or seizured in her bed,

in her silken nightdress,

the kind that has such pretty, dainty shoulder straps.

she said with confidence and gaity, "I want to slutdrop for Fozzie"

I said, "Fozzie, are you sure?

not Kermit or Ms Piggy?"

I felt the Hand, closing my hand into a fist

I punched at the fish in the bucket like a pestle to a mortar,

or is it mortar to the pestle? pedal to the metal.

"The Muppets are the controllers, are they?

or is the Hand The Muppet Controller?

have you ever seen the rain?

where did you sleep last night?

should I stay or should I go?

The Hand, wants to know"

The Muppets are waiting

for a response, a reply.

can we treatise in the morning?

when we wake up

bleary-eyed and buggy balled





prevailing silence


we are on a large spherical planetary body of water,

land and just... stuff and it is constantly spinning,

never stopping, never ever stopping spinning

1,000 miles an hour.

clinging to this rock

as the hand is controlled

by the Cookie Monster's hand

maybe we will all slutdrop for Fozzie

in the end




Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: So yeah...dropped the ball again. When I am back home in Scotland, I shall put out the winner's post for my Remix Me Challenge. Here is another Stream-of-consciousness-style piece that is...well...odd? Sometimes when I do SoC, I get profound...sometimes bombastic...in the case of this one...just odd and freaky. So...you're welcome?

Here's some more...coherent pieces?

Stream of Consciousnesssurreal poetrysocial commentaryperformance poetryFree Versefact or fictionart

About the Creator

Paul Stewart

Scottish-Italian poet/writer from Glasgow.

Overflowing in English language torture and word abuse.

"Every man has a sane spot somewhere" R.L Stevenson

The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection is now available!


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Comments (8)

  • D.K. Shepardabout a month ago

    Woah! What a ride! Puppet nightmares achieved!

  • Silver Serpent Booksabout a month ago

    This was very intense and oddly terrifying but I loved it. The stream of consciousness flow made it even more eerie.

  • Sonia Heidi Unruhabout a month ago

    I'm embarrased(?) to say I just got done watching the Muppets series ... and so this has wormed its way into my brain with extra ooomph! ("Am I a Hand ... or a Muppet? I'm a very handy muppet, I'm a muppet of a hand" -- new take on The Muppets movie song.) Love the way you worked in MaNaMaNa and other easter egg lines. Oy wocka!

  • Heather Hublerabout a month ago

    Oh you creeped me right out with this one!! Although I found some of it funny, lol. Slutdrop for Fozzie.

  • John Coxabout a month ago

    Full blown freak out, Paul. It absolutely gave me the Willie’s!

  • D. J. Reddallabout a month ago

    "Slutdrop for Fozzie" would be an excellent title for an album!

  • Strangely interesting and therefore great fun

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    That was like a fever dream hahahahahaha. I freaking loved it! Very Paulitical! 🍩🥐

Paul StewartWritten by Paul Stewart

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