Spit

I keep a whole war behind my teeth.

Barricaded beneath my tongue

i keep a whole war in the back of my throat

sounds breaking before they are

Chambering syllables in belts

Consonants silent rounds.

Waiting,

set free

each breath cut ragged

by falsehoods in the mirror

Vowels hang in a dream catcher.

Weightless.

watching

for a moment to be set free

choked

on freedom

Suspended on my alveolar ridge

Like bullets waiting

To drop –

Dropping only in

My heart.

felt so far

metal incline planes

instead of making myself heard

A dead weight,

Silence.

The o

Of my mouth

Rounded.

Lacking.

Nothing.

Unspoken.

Blocks.

plosives pausing before

making the mic pop

it burns

the truth of those days

사랑해

Can be formed in three

But when does the

Ache

Speak.

who hears me when

the sound i make

is so frail

And when

Do you listen

Not waiting to hear.

smile so your sounds are

palatable

smooth

Read my misshapen lips

Right to left

And down again.

No one reads

Anymore.

Did they before?

Mothers teach a mouth to speak

But not to confess or to bleed

Not to fight for a space to exist.

mothers teach a mouth to speak

but not to confess or bleed

not to take up space to breathe

I am no fighter.

i only fight in my mind

-------------------------------------------

And so

I say nothing

More.

And so

I am not.