Spinal Fluid

Me, being the a little too interested medical student i am, asked to watch you get your lumbar puncture done.

You’ve been in the hospital for almost a week now.

You’ve went through at least 5 bags of saline fluid.

It seems like the clearest liquid on the face of the earth.

The doctor instructed me to gown up.

I sat and watched as he put the iodine solution on your back

then the sterile dressing

then the needle goes in and out of your back

you move in pain

my mother watches you cry

the first time i think i’ve ever seen you cry

you didn’t even cry the night i was ready to end my life and stuck in a psych ward

i know They’re just taking precautions

but it worries me they’ll find something completely wrong and it will completely fuck up your chance of getting the brain lesion biopsied

The fluid starts to drip out of the needle and as the great Neil Hilborn said “Fluid so clear it couldn’t possibly be from anywhere but outer space.”

Yet the fluid in the IV bag is nothing compared to the fluid spilling from your back.

I watch the doctor collect the four vials of it he needs.

Only three are actually needed.

The last one is in case they want another test.

I’m praying these test show good.

The results are back

i’m sorry

the biopsy’s canceled

there’s nothing we can do

Please get some rest

please eat

goodnight.