Spend A Day In My Past Before You Judge It.

Were you there?

Do you know what truly happened?

Were you the ones who comforted my children while they watched me bleed and cry those lonely tears of pain?

Were you the one who sat alone, terrified, every time somebody knocked on your door whilst you anticipated the next attack?

Were you the ones who watched while I took the blows?

Were you the ones who sobbed with me as I nursed my bruises and black eyes?

Were you the one who sat at night worrying about how to feed your children because you were stolen from regularly?

Were you the ones who sat in your home alone, worrying about being broken into, beaten, raped, and abused most nights?

Do you truly know what happened?

Did you witness the trauma and watch me and my children as we huddled on the couch in tears, terrified of what was to come, day after day, night after night?

Did you feel all of my pain when I lost everything, including my children and my home, when I ended up spending night after night, terrified, hungry, tired, cold, and exposed to the brutal attacks of streetlife?

Do you truly know what it feels like to feel so bad about yourself and guilty because what happened to you was out of your control, and you couldn't protect your children from the violence that we went through?

Do you understand what it feels like to feel guilt, shame, remorse, worthless, and like a horrible person and parent because you tried hard to be the mum you wanted to be, just to have it all stolen by evil people who wanted to torment you and pull your life apart for the fun of it?

No?

Then, spend a day in my past, before you judge it,

Don't judge behind closed doors and with closed eyes;

Feel my pain, hear my pain, see my pain,

And when you have survived all I have been through,

Then, and only then can you judge me for,

Being a mum, a lover, and a victim of violence.