Speaking as a Father

A father of boys

I understand defending your children and having their back.

Right

Up

Until

They

Rape

Someone

It doesn't matter the gender

How much or little she was wearing

Or her condition.

Those are just details people pick apart

To avoid confronting how fucked we are

As an enlightened society.

The point is

They raped someone

Knew they were raping someone

Had fun raping someone.

So I do, as a parent, understand wanting to have your children's back.

Right up until you realise your son, your piece of shit flesh-and-blood offspring, is a rapist.

A coward

With a penis.

Boys will be...don't you even dare finish that fucking sentence.

They have such a bright future...

No.

They did.

Until they put their savagery above human decency and, you know, not assaulting an inebriated woman.

Until they thought it was all shits and giggles

To jiggle their bits inside another human being

Who was vulnerable.

Don't dare say they lacked self-control.

They did.

But it's worse.

They lacked the bare minimum.

I hope the lies and stories and accusations and dark shadow of guilt follow them and eat at them.

But I doubt it will.

To women who have experienced the exact same thing as Jane Doe:

I am sorry isn't good enough.

Somewhere, somehow, we let you down.

Maybe not us personally,

But men abused you and we, your fellow humans,

Let you down.

So

I am sorry.

Please never stop forcing us to confront

The awful truth

That it happened on our watch.

If you're not actively against the brutality,

Are you for it?

If you refuse to say fuck all, is that because your opinion is fuck all?

Please remember she is a woman like your mum you won't hear shit said about.

Please remember she is a woman like your daughter you'd never want to be raped.

She is a woman like all those women you adore and care about.

The ones next to you, in front of you, who probably, unfortunately, know to a greater or lesser degree what it's like.

Look at them.

Hold them.

Comfort them.

Remember:

She is them.

They are her.

If that helps.

But remember she shouldn't have to be your daughter, mum, sister or best friend

for

you

to

give

something

remotely

like a shit.

It's not actually difficult.

It shouldn't feel like some kind of revolutionary stance

To stand with the victim and to want better.

That's the fucking minimum.

The absolute fucking minimum.

I don't give a shit who you are.

I hope the publicity,

The outrage

And the response,

The vilification

Of your existence,

The ramifications

Of your insistence

That getting your fucking jollies

With a woman who didn't ask for it

Was somehow acceptable—

I hope all of it echoes the trauma

Of your victim.

You cowards.