Something that is Missing

I have no words left to say,

I have no more chances to save,

I have no more life to give to us,

I don't want to say you are not enough,

But there is something missing between the love,

We have had some of the most magical times,

filled with laughter, new places on bikes,

breaking bread over tables with butter on knifes,

but those times are not what keeps up the good fight,

you shower me with adornment and love,

I can't understand why I don't feel it's enough,

I don't understand why I see our futures are flagged with caution,

instead of letting myself be lost within it,

Your words are wrapped with understanding,

I can see your fear of where my thoughts may be landing,

because you can feel me distancing,

the more you text, the less I am responding,

you are giving me space,

even if you feel I have erased,

my desire to spend time with you,

you text me good morning and good night,

you try to make everything between us feel right,

You make sure you know what is in your sights,

And that it's me,

that I am who you want to be, with,

and I know I am not giving that back to you,

not for all that you need,

you need me to feed,

you with all the love, the way you're treating me,

But I don't have it,

and you deserve it,

but you see my sights have been scorned,

my future built with you has been torn,

by the indescribable differences that have formed,

and even though you continue to fight for us,

by releasing your needs to hold onto my love,

I am not holding it back for you,

I send you emoji hearts,

to make you think you have a part of me,

while I try to figure this all out,

Sadley, we see it differently on how we define doubt,

because you see it in a way,

where there is no doubt where we stay,

and for me our relationship is living day to day,

you find all the time in the world for me,

answer even if your busy,

always showing me who your excited to see,

while I use excuses on where I have to be,

giving you just enough to keep the peace,

You deserve better than this from me,

you say you love my heart,

while I write about tearing yours apart,

You tell me to feel better,

while I spend more time writing this letter,

than I have made an effort to communicating with you,

You seem to need me,

A feeling and place I always wanted to be,

but even with this feeling,

with you there is something missing,