Some Things I Left at Home for You

Would you be more comfortable if I didn’t shine?

If I left every ounce of my essence behind?

My body, my heart, I have no say;

What does the world want from me today?

***

Shall I leave my red, my body and blood for you?

Drink this in remembrance of Eve.

Should I leave the fruit of knowledge unbitten for your ignorance?

Should I leave behind the scars you’ve seen and do not care for?

Should I sit on my hands?

Should I just be quiet?

You brought your red today, screaming-

Should my red be more like yours?

***

Should I leave behind my orange?

Leave my joy in my underwear drawer?

Save the money on soda, fizzy and sour,

Everything that tastes like regret about me,

So your communion wafer can be rollicking

Because I’m faded?

Dim the brightest strands of my hair, shaving off what outshines you?

Lay off leaving lipstick stains on her?

If you don't like orange, cover your eyes.

***

Should I leave behind my unbroken beams of light?

They cut across the room;

You can close the blinds but

I’ll still be here, iridescent on your lashes.

If I hang my sunlit ease over the back of my couch,

Will you pick it up after me?

Are you a vulture?

Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

***

Should I leave behind my rainslick leaves,

My thickening boughs,

My ancient and antique?

So you can claim I’ve never existed in a thousand bodies before,

Never in the trees or the brush or the houseplant,

Never in one like yours?

Have I lost my right to nature?

Have I been extracted from the garden, too unclean?

Can you take away my right to bear fruit? To grow roots?

Your god gave you permission to do that?

***

Should I leave behind my waterfall, my pleasure?

My right to momentum?

My right to tumble easy to sleep

Without a worry for my people?

I’m not something you can stop, am I?

Does that scare you?

***

Should I leave behind my perfect storm?

Should I stop spilling ink so you can write over top of me?

My right to tell the truth-

Is that inconvenient for you?

Is my in-between incomprehensible?

Are my feathered edges offensive and murky?

Do you want to make room for black and white sharpness?

Everyone is technicolor here,

Even when it's dark.

***

Should I leave behind my favorite refuge and my

Femininity,

The incense riding on my body heat?

Do you need a flower girl to shower you

With lavender I broke the earth for?

Do you need to scavenge what I created?

***

Would you be more comfortable if I didn't heal?

If I left the best parts for you to steal?

I’ve decided to leave you at home,

How does it feel to be left alone?