Soft

Just Once,

I wanna be less loving,

Less forgiving,

Less understanding.

I wanna be able to let go,

Keep a grudge,

Hold someone accountable,

Say no.

I’m tired of holding onto everyone so tightly,

Of forgiving them after a one time thing,

Turned broken second chance,

Turned abuse.

I’m a doormat,

A clinger,

An apologist

An easy target.

I need to learn to be cruel,

To reciprocate the hate,

Not feel guilty,

Become inconsiderate.

I can’t help being nice,

But it gets me taken advantage of.

Even if I try to retaliate

Then I’m the bad one, so I don’t.

Why was I made so soft

In a world filled with cruelty?

Why can’t I learn my lesson

And just let it harden me?