So what’s it gonna be?

Polar opposites pulling me from different sides,

Pulsing in my veins, parting what is in disguise

People doing whatever they can, to capitalize

Asking

Will money set me free?

Knew in my gut I’ve always been in between

Different parts of life, but this time I think I’m finally able to see

The full picture was only a pixel, now I can see the whole scene

accessible thru multiple streams

connected through stitches and seams

One filled with a glamorous lifestyle, an endless feast,

Woah.

Brunches with mimosas, expensive dinners as much as a lease

A life full of milk, honey, and dessert creams.

And on the other side, chasing crumbs is done endlessly

I guess Lifestyles of the poor hasn’t changed, it seems

Mhm

City lights replace the stars, my neighborhood is my core

Only 9 years old.

Staring at the moonlight from my bedroom on the second floor

Sirens act as my lullaby. By 1, that should be number 4

2 families in this one home, I’m grateful for them of course

Remember?

All these memories?

They can sometimes fade away like a haze… a wave… or a scar

Laying themselves at my feet

A reminder we will never separate but can never repeat

Remembered seeing immigrant workers late at night

Thoughts on their mind is family and how to provide.

It is what it is.

It is how we get past internal strife

Remembered the kids growing up fast, trying to play their cards right

Never flushing away their dreams, they’ll be alright

Remembered Portraits of fallen leaders; dusted, polished, and hung up real nice

All that was known was this reality will not suffice

And yes I am afflicted

Pleading

Because I can only speak on what I have lived

Now relearning to figure out how I wanna live

Im in between happiness for myself, and happiness for the people I love a lot

Sacrifice my job and family time so I can go after a dream that’s always been mine?

How does it go? Money comes and goes?

Working for a profit is not the same as working for a prophet

Being on my own timing

Pay the business im minding

Yet I’m scared to take leap

I don’t have a safety net underneath.

Im in between having more, and being complacent with what Ive got

Trying to save up money with thrift items I have recently bought

Yet I desire garments and robes within the newest season

Be bought for your values and become the treason?

Less is more.

But fuck being broke

Rich in money or rich in life?

Being stable must be nice

I’m in between, a scheduled death and wanting to live to see my grandkids

I never had grandfathers, so all the wisdom went dead ahead

Passing down knowledge to the next generation, it’s worth waiting

To see the big family that I could have around me

Yet I don’t want to live in a daze, within days that seem never ending

Wondering what my life’s purpose is, is that too much questioning?

Im in between a boss and a beggar,

Like two different sides of a boardwalk

Lacking the hands to reach the lines for the time on the clock

So what have we learned?

Fear of not living mixed with a cultural gridlock

And

Truths come from hard places and a couple rocks

Decisions are a bitch but I could never put my life on pause

Don’t be afraid….

Where will we go from here?

Are we just pawns?

What can we do with this deck of cards drawn?