So she lied.

She didn't tell me so she lied

leaving me with thousands of

tears over the years I've cried.

Now in hindsight, I understand

the sudden trip to Disneyland,

visiting a beach with white sands,

and wow, that stop in Hollywood ,

the Walk of Fame with all the names,

I couldn't believe I had it so good!

Of course, I was a fool because there was

a reason I was missing so much school.

She knew but I did not so she lied.

I was oblivious in the worst kind of way

selfishly unaware and I blame myself to this day.

Trips to the mall to buy a new dress,

so easily forgiven when I made a mess.

A new record player,

Mounds of comic books,

My very own TV,

Now you're beginning to see,

she bought me everything a girl could want or need

she told my brothers but not me

thus stole my chance to live in reality.

She thought I was too young so she lied.

Had I have known, the questions would

have poured out of me like blood from a cut

instead she left me with so many

Ands, if onlys, and buts...

And oh so many unanswered questions

about the secrets

of all life's greatest lessons.

See, I didn't need toys, prizes or trips abroad,

those aren't important now that she's gone.

She wanted to spare me the truth that she was dying, so she lied.

Decades later I'm still angry inside

So when all was unsaid and done

all she really left me was

A Beethoven bust,

A lot of broken trust,

The love of poetry,

Tons of insecurity,

years and years of acting wild

but mostly she left me

a motherless child.